The Most Irritating Comments on Digg
(And What They Actually Mean)
September 17, 2007
If you are a regular user at Digg.com, you will know that every so often, there are some repetitive comments made that after some time just get plain annoying. Memes such as "In Soviet Russia..." and the LOLcats will often make countless members groan, but there are other comments made that are so much more frustrating.
Here is a look at some of the most annoying comments made on Digg, and what they translate to actually meaning:
Comment: Mirror at http://www.linkinn.com/yaddayadda/spam
Translation:
I am aiming to make it look like I am being helpful by posting what I call a mirror. In fact, it is actually a site I am associated with that has ripped off the original content from the original site before it went down. Ordinarily, most people wouldn't be bothered by this, but I have riddled it with ads so that I can make money on the Digg Effect! For some reason I keep getting banned. But my proficiency at setting up a new Digg account is getting faster on a daily basis! Please click and make me prosperous.
Comment: This gets posted once every 2 months on Digg
Translation:
I just wanted to let every person know that I keep track of every single story that hits the front page. That's right: every single one. I even keep a spreadsheet of statistics on it. Oh, I do not care whether you've seen it or not, I am just stating a fact. I have no life.
Comment: Ron Paul 2008!
Translation:
I am under some kind of delusion that by posting a comment that will be dugg down to -100 will help my favorite candidate win the next election! I also no longer surf porn sites since anything Ron Paul related inflates my dragon better than any erectile dysfunction treatment.
Comment: Screw Ron Paul
Translation:
I am under some kind of delusion that by trolling Ron Paul fans will stop them from posting comments that will be dugg down to -100. Just like this one I just posted! Additionally, I am probably the type of person that does not really care about politics and won't bother voting in the election next year.
Comment: /sarcasm
Translation:
The insertion of this tag is proof that I am scared shitless of being dugg down for making a lame joke.
Comment: Amen, brother
Translation:
The cavity in my skull is vacant and I have nothing of value to add to this conversation.
Comment: Why is this on the front page? This is not news! People like you ruin Digg
Translation:
For some reason, I was not consulted about this being allowed to become popular. Despite this being outrageous, the mere fact you plebs dugg this to the front page is a clear indication that my intelligence is far superior to your pitiful little cerebral cortex. However, even though it is clear I am after news, I am mentally incapable of comprehending how to type the URL http://www.cnn.com into my browser to go directly to a news web site. Regardless of this, I shall indicate my elite-level knowledge of current affairs, not by moving to a newsworthy story, but by flaming you as one should do to peasants like yourself. Now, allow me to enjoy this fine tobacco in my hand-crafted pipe. Quite...
Translation:
I loathe being insulted by someone who has a different faith or belief system than me
Comment: Why do you people submit this stuff?
Translation:
My laziness in not being able to post a story to Digg is almost as impressive as my sense of entitlement. Entertain me, for I am the type of human who would rather complain and whine than actually participate in the community effort of improving Digg.
Comment: Oh yeah, but when Clinton was in office...
Translation:
As an enthusiast of Bush (one of the 25%), this is the only argument I can come up with in a political discussion. I am fully aware (and frightened) that those filthy stinking liberals will effectively and elegantly shoot down this argument, but I am equipped to repeat the same talking point over and over and over again. Outside of this, I will resort to heckling liberals while soiling my pants.
Comment: Buried as sensationalist musical inaccurate fanboy retardedness
Translation:
I did not enjoy this story. Actually, I did not even read it; I just wanted to make up a clever reason for burying it and then post it to piss you all off. Or, perhaps I just wanted to show you how clever I was for making up a reason. Either way, it was not sufficient for me to simply bury the story and move on to the next; I just wanted to be in the spotlight. Why my comments get buried, I shall never know.
Translation:
Endeavoring to describe my dislike of this story will shatter my tiny little brain.
Comment: This is all the fault of the Bush Administration (Posted in a non-political topic)
Translation:
You know that kid on the internet that only says, "I like turtles"? Well, I am just like him, except, the extent of my vocabulary includes the expressions, "I hate Bush", and "This is all the fault of the Bush Administration". Outside of this, 9/11 was an inside job (see above translation).
Comment: Any spelling or grammar correction made by a Spelling and Grammar Nazi
Translation:
I am a card-carrying citizen of the Spelling and Grammar Nazis. When a spelling error or some indistinct phrase barely passing for acceptable grammar hits the front page, a little siren goes off in our secret base, and we rush out to ensure the appropriate corrections are made. Furthermore, we will do whatever we can in our power to make you look more of an idiot (than you already have) for having unintentionally misspelled the word "definitely". Our elitism notwithstanding, we strive to make Digg a perfect location of perfect spelling and perfect grammar: a utopia of the English language at its zenith. Secretly, however, I play with my poop outside of my local 7-11 on a daily basis.
Comment: (In any Digg-related post)
Boo Hoo... Digg owes us a new comment system and picture section!
Translation:
The sanctuary of hiding behind my ghetto computer that is connected to the Internet has provided me with the daydream that not only am I qualified to be Kevin Rose's employer, but that I know everything that happens at Digg.com. I just so happen to act like I am Tony Soprano or Michael Corleone so that it will seem like Kevin Rose and the rest of the Digg crew will eternally owe me something, because despite the Terms Of Service I agreed to, I am a part of this community and therefore, they better do what I want! If I leave, Digg shall fall! In the end, my sense of privilege is actually infectious and spreads to other asshats at Digg; particularly to the members of the Johnny Knoxville and the Jackass crew that involved themselves in the Digg Revolts. This type of comment usually is made before commenting, "That is it - I am leaving Digg for good". In the event of making such a comment, I actually believe that people will miss me.
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